Saturday, December 27, 2008

Read my stuff. Get hammered.

One of my sources of income is CD reviews, usually for local/regional artists. I take the job to heart and usually listen to a CD three times before I write a review, but I find my philosophical priorities lead to my bringing up similar points review after review, and my writing style has certain tics whereby the same phrases keep cropping up. So, I devised a drinking game to be played while reading several of my CD reviews at one time! Here are the rules, and please play responsibly:

Anything is "accessible" -- take a shot.
Anything embodies "professionalism" -- take a shot.
Anything is "technically proficient" -- take a shot.
There's a reference to "craft" -- take a shot.
Anything embodies "playfulness" -- take a shot.
Anything captures the "semiotics" of any style -- take a shot.
Songs are "efficient" -- take a shot.
Anything "transcends" -- take a shot.
Anything fails to "transcend" -- drink a glass of water.
The style is referred to as "post-[fill in]" -- take a shot.
Reference is made to the artist's "creative/artistic voice" -- take two shots.
Anything is "idiosyncratic" -- take two shots, punch yourself in the face.
There are two hyphenated adjectives in the same sentence -- chug the bottle.
There are more than two hyphenated adjectives in the same sentence -- chug the bottle, throw it into a wall.
"Hooks" are "ample" or "copious" -- take two shots.
There are "no/few hooks to speak of" -- drink a glass of water.
Anything is "badass" -- take a shot.
Anything embodies "badassitude" -- grab the drink of the person to your left, pour it over your head, run to the window, lean out, scream "LED ZEPPELIN!!"
Reference is made to "dynamic shifts" -- punch the person to your left in the face.
Reference is made to "intervals" -- punch the person to your right in the face.